Men Express Themselves
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ALWAYS LATE

By Russell A. Irving

No one is always late
Unless they do not care about
The other's feelings,
Or, they wish to 'pay them back'
For something real or imagined.

Most of use all have probably known someone who is perennially late. And while it might appear cute to say that 'They will probably be late for their own funeral', being on the receiving end of the tardiness is by no means cute or fun or acceptable.

Yet, many of us do accept it, especially from our spouse.
We can make all of the excuses that we wish to, but the reality is that folks are coninually late because of 1 or more reasons from this list. Here goes:
#1 They want to 'pay you back' for something that you actually did which upset them and which they believe you did on purpose to anger or hurt or embarrass them.
#2 They believe that you did something nasty and while they have no proof of it, they feel that you deserve a 'payback'.
#3 They were raised in a family where the responsibility to be on time was never really paid much attention to, and they don't feel a need to change their lifelong habits, simply to appease you.
#4 As long as what made them late was more pleasureable or meaningful to them, than being on time would be toward making you happy, then they see no real problem.
#5 If they explained to you that they did not want to go visit your folks or whatever the commitment is and you insisted that they do it anyway, then they feel justified in punishing you.
#6 They simply do not care about your feelings. (Whew! That's a 'biggie' to swallow.)

So, what are you to do about this? Or, rather, what can you do about this?
Well, you have several choices.
#1 You can do something in turn which you know will tick them off.
#2 You can let them know that it angers you. (For the umpteenth time.)
#3 You could file for divorce, simply to get your message across; not that you truly wish for the marriage to end. Especially over this matter!

Or, you can do one of the following, more productive things.
#1 Decide whether or not you should continue asking them to accompany you to events which you know that they would rather not attend. Why should both of you become miserable?
 #2 Be frank about it. Let them know just how upset or hurt you are when they show such disregard for your feelings. Perhaps she or he truly is oblivious!
#3 Negotiate. You will go without kicking or screaming to one of their events if they go yours. And you will both be on time and appear to be in a positive mood, for the sake of the other. Or, you watch the game with them. Or, take them out for a special dinner. Or, have passionate sex. Or...

Continuing to let this behavior go on is akin to planting still another poisonous plant in the garden of your marriage. Eventually, these seedlings mature and can overtake all of the beautiful roses that grew there. And, don't you each deserve to have a great marriage? Of course, you do!

'Nuff said!